'Yes I like you and don't wanna lose you," she finally confessed after gathering all her courage. 'Now answer my question. Do you like me?'

'Yes.'

She was taken aback by his reply. Well yeah her friends used to tell her he is into you but she doesn't wanna believe it and hearing it from him was the last thing she expected.

'Okay... I expected a No.'

'Why?'

'Because I'm not so lucky in these types of situations.'

'Neither am I.'

'So what's next?'

'What do you want?' Murat asked her.

'Does it matter?'

'Then it doesn't matter what I want either.'

'I mean are we just friends or something else now?!'

'And what's that?'

"Hah! Loves to play dumb. Argggghhh he is so annoying", she mentally screamed.

'I'm talking about relationship.'

'I want to say something.'

'Sure'

'I'm not ready for a relationship,' he admitted.

Okay

'No problem. Tell me whenever you are ready.'

'Yeah.'

Soon they shared their terms and conditions.

¤ Can't talk all the time.
¤ Don't wanna be controlled.
¤ Just trust and be loyal as long as we are together.
¤ No babu shona or cringy stuff.
¤ No promises we can't fulfill.

.
.
.
************

Every day after work, he used to talk with her on call till he reached his home. Sometimes for less than an hour and sometimes more.

"It's been an hour, already?" she mumbled while checking the time.

"Umm, yeah, so should I hang up the call?"

"No, no. I did not mean that."

"But you said 'It's been an hour?' as if you are tired of talking to me," he imitates her words.

"No, I meant to ask 'It's been an hour already on the call?', you don't usually talk till this late, that's why."

"Arey aapke sath to hum puri raat bhi baat karlen" (If it's you, I can keep talking for the whole night.)

"Yeah, as if you'll stay awake the whole time. You'll drift off to sleep halfway on the call." She shooed away the butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

"Only call, not text," he chuckled.

"And then I'll realize that I was the one who kept speaking continuously as if I'm a maniac."

"I mean, just think about it. If I drift off to sleep while listening to your voice, I'll get such a good sleep." But all her efforts were going in vain because his flirting wasn't helping.

"Oh, really? Have you thought of me as some radio or what? I'll keep talking and you'll sleep peacefully, huh?"

He chuckled. "Anyways. It isn't possible."

"Yeah, exactly. My parents would wonder, who am I talking to, at this hour."

"Alright, I've reached home. Let's talk later."

"Oh, okay. Allah Hafiz."

"Allah Hafiz."

11:02 PM.
Never in her life had she talked with someone this late.

.
.
.

**********

Once they were playing 'This or That', which lead to an outcome she had never expected.

"Black or white?" He asked.

"Umm black," she replied.

"Android or IOS?"

"Android."

"Beach or hills."

"Beach."

"Day or night?"

"Night," she answered with a big grin.

"Mummy or papa?"

"I can't choose in this."

"Nah you have to"

"Arey, how can I?"

"Choose."

"Um, papa," after lots of thinking she finally answered.

"Ohh, why?"

"Because mostly he understands me when mum doesn't. And we have a great bonding."

"I see."

"What kind of fun you're having in this game?"

"These little things can tell us some of the biggest things about people."

"Oh, then what did you get to know about me?"

"Like if I'll have to give you something, and I have a choice, then I'll choose black, thinking that 'she will like the black more'." Her stomach twisted just by thinking about him gifting her something.

"No, if it's a thing then white, otherwise black."

"Oh white. Then I'll choose white, thinking that you might not like the thing but you may like it because of the colour."

"And?"

"If I have an option of taking you on a vacation, it would be the beach because you love the ocean. If I plan a long drive, I will take you at night so you can admire the stars that you love so much."

"Oh." Her cheek was resting on her palm as she got lost in the picture he painted just now.
Vacation
Ocean
Stars
Me and Him
She closes her eyes as smile crept on her face.

"Yes. Now would you ask me something or am I going to be the only one asking?" His voice pulls her back to reality.

"Umm. Android or IOS?"

"IOS."

"Oh, you like apple. It works fine?"

"Yes, it is good."

"It is very confusing for me. Hmmm anddd...Day or Night?"

"Day."

"Why not night?"

"Because night is for sleeping."

"There are other works to do at night too." She murmured with scarlet cheeks.

He chuckled. "Ohh. They can be done during the day too."

"But the moon appears at night."

He misheard the moon as mood and you know how fast the imagination runs. "Arey that can be made whenever you want. Now if we meet, then we would have to get into the mood during the daytime."

"Arey but the moon and stars appear at night!"

"Oh Oh Ohh. I got the wrong meaning."

She laughed at his response.

"You're really clever huh," he muttered.

"I was checking what will you say."

"Very smart."

"You always trick me, this time I did it." She grinned ear to ear.

"Yes, I won't spare you next time. Okay, tell me honestly. Were you really saying what I was thinking?" he asked huskily.

"Both." She bit her lip while looking down in her lap.

"I see. So that's why you like the night." He laughed.

"No no no. I said the moon too." She sat up straight, defending herself.

"Yeah yeah I got it." He continued to tease her.

"Arey!" She was so done with him.

"Okay tell me one thing. Do you get these types of thoughts?"

"Why not? Am I not a human? Don't I have needs?"

"Ohkay. So what do you think? Whose face do you imagine?"

'Yours,' her heart said.
But she tried to change the topic. "Ye kya baatein ho rahi hain?" (what kind of things are we talking about?

"Acha ye baate karne ki nahi hoti?" he grins.
(Aren't these things something to talk about?)

"Ye koi baat hoti hai karne ki?"
(are these even things to talk about?)

"Acha ye seedha karne ki cheez hoti hai phir, haina?" he chuckled.
(So they are not something to talk about, but to be taken action upon directly, right?)

"I'm so done with you," she closed her eyes, pinching her nose.

"Acha batao ye baate karne ki hoti hai ya bas karne ki hoti hai?"
(Okay tell me, are these things meant to be talked about, or should people be direct and just do it?)

"Hum ye baaten kyu kar rahe hain?" (Why are we even talking about it?) She was blushing hard at this moment.

"Achha chalo nahi krte hain. Aayinda nahi karunga esi baat." (Okay then let's not talk about it. I won't talk about these things from now on)
He closed the topic sensing her uneasiness.

"Anyways, black or white?" She continued the game after taking a breath of relief.

"Black."

"Mummy, papa?"

"Both."

"Choose one, you made me choose too."

"They are not separate from each other, they are one. If you remove one, the other won't be there either."

"This is wrong, you made me choose but you aren't telling me your choice!"

They were lost in their little bubble, not caring about anything. And that's what falling in love means. You don't think logically even if it's for a few moments. Your heart starts to imagine a world with them and wishes it to come true someday.
But it was the first and the last time that he lost control. After that night, Murat always avoided making her have dreams that are impossible to come true.
It was the last time his heart betrayed him, when he least expected it.

.
.
.

************

The game continued till the next day.

'Single or mingle?' she texted him.

'Single without you
Mingle with you.'

"Did he just? PROPOSED ME?" she thought.

'Wait?' she texted him.

'Ji?' (Yes?)

'If this is a proposal..... then my answer is yes,' she typed down gathering all the courage she had.

And the next thing he said completely turned her world upside down.

'I love you' he texted. With a BIG throbbing heart.

She was completely frozen and didn't know what to say.

Does he really love me? Should I confess too? Is it really 'love' or just 'like'?

'Are you good?' he texted again after receiving no reply for 2 minutes.

'Yes
Wait a minute.
Tumhe mujhse mohabbat kab hui?'
(When did you fall in love with me?)

"Bas ho gayi."
(Just happened)

She was silent because she didn't know whether she loved him or not.

'Is it really love that I feel for him?' She thought. 'It's been only two months.'

'Say something,' he was getting restless with every second passing because of her silence.

'Give me 5 minutes.'

'Ok'

She closed her eyes while resting against the wall as her mind ran in thousands of directions.

What the heck!

He loves me? When? How? And most importantly, do I love him?

I don't want to jump onto wrong conclusions. Love is a sacred and deep thing. It doesn't happen so quickly. Plus we shouldn't judge our feelings on the basis of the honeymoon phase that is the starting 3-4 months of meeting.

I read somewhere 'if your interest doesn't fade even after 4 months, then there are chances that you are falling in love with someone'.

But what I feel for him, is strong, very strong. It has never happened before. I have never liked someone so so sooo much before.

The feelings I have for him are not just a 'random crush' or 'attraction', it's deeper than that.

But not deep like love too.

Oh god.

What if?

What if it's love?

I don't know... But I guess its better to confess than to hide inside.

Let's take this risky shot.

After a good mental debate, she finally picked up the phone and texted him.

'After lots of thinking, I have finally concluded. Haan mujhe bhi tumse mohabbat hai.' (Yes, I love you too) she took all her courage to say the words.

'That means you didn't say it from the heart, right?' He replied instantly, despite being at work.

'No, I mean it.'

'If you had meant it then you wouldn't have had to think about it. You would have just said it instantly, just like I did.'

'Arey, I already know that I love you, but I was thinking should I confess or not,' she tried to explain herself.

'No, you're just saying it because I said it,' he was enjoying teasing her.

'Arey, I said I meant it. I'm so done with you.'

'Arey I was joking. I know.'

.
.
.

************

The conversation continued on call at night because he got busy with work. She joked about proposing to her properly, but when he talked about not getting into a relationship, she was hella confused.

"Hath pakad ke chhoda kese jaata hai?" (How do you leave someone's hand after holding it?) He asked her.

"To chhodoge hi kyu?" (Why would you leave it in the first place?) She questioned back.

"Why not? You never know what might happen tomorrow. The only reason for a breakup doesn't need to be the families' disagreement about the relationship. Sometimes other reasons can also be there. So why get yourself into something that will break your heart eventually?"

"It's not like one day you will get up and say 'oh let's breakup' without any reason," she rolled her eyes.

"If we attach ourselves to the other person with a string, and for some reason, the string has to break, that would hurt both of them."

"Right now, just tell me one thing," she pressed her nose bridge.

"Ji" (Yes)

"What are you to me? I'm really confused right now. Are you my friend, boyfriend, husband, what??"

"We aren't in nikah (married) so I'm not your husband. Friend, yes we are friends."

"What if someone asks you, who's Hayat? What will you say?"

"I will say she is a very nice girl."

"Abey gender nahi pucha (I am not asking gender). What is she to you?"

"Vo meri bohot achhi dost hai, jisko main pasand karta hu."
(She is a very nice friend of mine, whom I like.)

"So then?"

"Then what?"

"Uffo!" she huffed.

"To biwi bana lu tumhe?"
(So shall I make you my wife?)

"Bana sakte ho?"
(Can you make me?)

"Chalo aaj se biwi tum meri, khush?"
(Okay from now on you are my wife, Happy?)

"Duh!"

She couldn't understand his point of view. He was so confusing.

But step by step, he explained everything. She finally understood what are the reasons behind his back off and not getting into a serious relationship.

• He was afraid of getting attached and heartbroken again.
• He didn't want to make promises he can't fulfill, which can break her heart.
• His family doesn't allow inter-caste marriages. He is 'Ahmad' and she is 'Khan'.
• His cousins used to ship him with his other cousin whom he never liked, but is ready to accept her for the sake of his parents.

Overall, he didn't want to give any false hope and break her heart. He made all the things clear in the beginning, because he knows, how it feels when your heart gets broken and shatter into million of pieces. He knows how painful it is to collect back those sharp pieces despite the fact you are bleeding. He knows about the deep cuts that leaves a big scar on your heart no matter if the wounds have healed or not. He knows how lonely it gets when no one understands your pain and you silently tolerate it with a smile.

He knows the pain when someone breaks your heart recklessly. And he doesn't want her to feel the same.

But that doesn't mean he didn't think about her all day long. That doesn't mean he didn't dream about holding her in his arms.

That doesn't mean he didn't love her.

.
.
.

************